the Wedding Planner

Irish Wedding News

05/04/2012

Cougar Trend Emerges After Divorce

Dating after divorce is a delicate matter, and age is a major factor in a divorcee’s choice of who to date.

The cougar has become a common theme in popular culture. But Marni Battista of The Huffington Post asserts that age should not be a deal-breaker in dating, and Mate1.com agrees that life experience and communication are more important.

The recent surge in popularity of cougars, or women who date younger men, is largely due to their increased presence in the media and entertainment worlds. But there are women who find that they connect better with younger men, particularly after divorce or the end of a long term relationship. Marni Battista explores her own experience as a cougar and Mate1.com agrees that there is much more to compatibility than age.

In The Huffington Post, Battista's article discusses her experience dating younger men. She admits that she tried to date men closer to her own age, but her efforts were unsuccessful: "During this period I realized once again that despite sharing many of the same life experiences, these men weren't looking for the same things as me. Some were still recovering from loss, others were enjoying their freedom, and others just 'weren't a match.' And when you're not on the same page, entering an intimate relationship in the post-divorce stage can complicate things even more."

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Battista goes on to say that dating is a way of determining non-negotiables, of deciding which characteristics and goals are imperative for one's partner to have. Mate1.com, an online dating website, agrees that dating is a process, not merely an activity. Through this process, they encourages its members to keep an open mind with regards to superficial factors such as age.

"It would be unrealistic to say that age doesn't matter at all," commented Elizabeth Wasserman, CEO of Mate1.com. "Age gaps can bring out a lot of insecurities and increase the risk of mismatched expectations. But life experience is a much better gauge of compatibility than a mere number, and good communication can solve most of the problems that age presents."

Mate1.com suggests comparing life experiences, goals, and values when searching for a romantic partner. Although age does not always affect these factors, it can play a part in a person's understanding of their own personalities and what they need from a partner. Open communication, as recommended by Wasserman, is the best way to determine compatibility. Mate1.com encourages members to be honest with potential partners and, if compatibility is lacking, to continue their search.

(GK)

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"Dating after divorce is a delicate matter, and age is a major factor in a divorcee’s choice of who to date."