Irish Wedding News
02/07/2013
Scientists have revealed that the secret to a long-lasting marriage could be down to changing the topic of conversation – in the hopes of avoiding an argument.
The research, which was led by Dr Sarah Holle, assistant professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, and has been published in the Journal Of Marriage And Family, also revealed a difference between younger and older couples when tackling such disagreements.
The study found young couples were more likely to try to solve a disagreement with a heated row, while older couples often tried to avoid conflict by switching the topic.
However, it suggests that newlywed couples do need to work through their problems in order to identify mutual goals. For example, on how to raise children.
For the research, the team followed 127 middle-aged and older long-term married couples for 13 years, monitoring how they communicated about conflicts on a range of topics, from housework to finances. They also videotaped the couples' discussions, noting how they communicated when talking about contentious issues, and when they were faced with an issue they disagreed with, the older couples were more likely to change the subject, or shift attention away from the topic.
The experts explained that avoiding a disagreement is considered to be unhealthy for a relationship because it prevents the problem from being resolved, especially for couples beginning their married life together, but they added that for older couples, avoidance simply helps move conversation away from the more 'toxic' areas and toward more neutral or pleasant topics.
Dr Sarah Holley believes the age and maturity of the couple is behind the change in approach to conflict, as well as a possibly being influenced by the length of the relationship.
In addition, the research suggests that there could be problems if one partner consistently tried to avoid discussing an issue with their other half.
For example, if a husband withdraws in response to his wife's demands to do the dishes, it can lead to an escalation in the wife's demands, therefore potentially influencing the the husband's tendency to withdraw from the argument.
Dr Holley explained: "This can lead to a polarisation between the two partners which can be very difficult to resolve and can take a major toll on relationship satisfaction."
(JP/MH)
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Is Changing The Subject The Secret To A Long Marriage?
Scientists have revealed that the secret to a long-lasting marriage could be down to changing the topic of conversation – in the hopes of avoiding an argument.
The research, which was led by Dr Sarah Holle, assistant professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, and has been published in the Journal Of Marriage And Family, also revealed a difference between younger and older couples when tackling such disagreements.
The study found young couples were more likely to try to solve a disagreement with a heated row, while older couples often tried to avoid conflict by switching the topic.
However, it suggests that newlywed couples do need to work through their problems in order to identify mutual goals. For example, on how to raise children.
For the research, the team followed 127 middle-aged and older long-term married couples for 13 years, monitoring how they communicated about conflicts on a range of topics, from housework to finances. They also videotaped the couples' discussions, noting how they communicated when talking about contentious issues, and when they were faced with an issue they disagreed with, the older couples were more likely to change the subject, or shift attention away from the topic.
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The experts explained that avoiding a disagreement is considered to be unhealthy for a relationship because it prevents the problem from being resolved, especially for couples beginning their married life together, but they added that for older couples, avoidance simply helps move conversation away from the more 'toxic' areas and toward more neutral or pleasant topics.
Dr Sarah Holley believes the age and maturity of the couple is behind the change in approach to conflict, as well as a possibly being influenced by the length of the relationship.
In addition, the research suggests that there could be problems if one partner consistently tried to avoid discussing an issue with their other half.
For example, if a husband withdraws in response to his wife's demands to do the dishes, it can lead to an escalation in the wife's demands, therefore potentially influencing the the husband's tendency to withdraw from the argument.
Dr Holley explained: "This can lead to a polarisation between the two partners which can be very difficult to resolve and can take a major toll on relationship satisfaction."
(JP/MH)
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