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Irish Wedding News

11/10/2013

Kissing Helps Women Find 'Mr Right'

A new study by researchers at Oxford University has suggested that kissing helps people "size up" potential partners, and, once in a relationship, could be a way of getting a partner to stay.

According to Rafael Wlodarski, a DPhil student who carried out the research at the university, said: "Kissing in human sexual relationships is incredibly prevalent in various forms across just about every society and culture.

"So here's a human courtship behaviour which is incredibly widespread and common and, in extent, is quite unique. And we are still not exactly sure why it is so widespread or what purpose it serves."

To try to understand the behaviour, Wlodarski and Professor Robin Dunbar set up an online questionnaire, where more than 900 adults answered questions about the importance of kissing in both short-term and long-term relationships.

The findings were reported in two journals – the Archives of Sexual Behavior, and Human Nature – and found that women rated kissing as generally more important in relationships than men. Furthermore, men and women who rated themselves as being attractive, or who tended to have more short-term relationships and 'casual encounters', also rated kissing as being more important.

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Previous studies have revealed that women tend to be more selective when initially choosing a partner, as are the two groups mentioned above. As it is these groups which tended to value kissing more in their survey responses, the results suggests that kissing helps in assessing potential mates.

Professor Dunbar commented: "Mate choice and courtship in humans is complex. It involves a series of periods of assessments where people ask themselves 'shall I carry on deeper into this relationship?'

"Initial attraction may include facial, body and social cues. Then assessments become more and more intimate as we go deeper into the courtship stages, and this is where kissing comes in."

Professor Dunbar also referred to the 'Jane Austen problem' and finding a Mr Darcy.

He explained: "In choosing partners, we have to deal with the 'Jane Austen problem': how long do you wait for Mr Darcy to come along when you can't wait forever and there may be lots of you waiting just for him? At what point do you have to compromise for the curate?

"What Jane Austen realised is that people are extremely good at assessing where they are in the 'mating market' and pitch their demands accordingly. "We see some of that coming out in the results of our survey, suggesting that kissing plays a role in assessing a potential partner."

With regards to the current study, the team found that the importance of kissing changed for people according to whether it was being done in long-term or short-term relationships. Particularly, it was rated by women as more important in long-term relationships, suggesting that kissing also plays an important role in mediating affection and attachment among established couples.

While high levels of arousal might be a consequence of kissing, the researchers say it does not appear to be a driving factor that explains why we kiss in romantic relationships.

(JP/IT)

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"A new study by researchers at Oxford University has suggested that kissing helps people "size up" potential partners, and, once in a relationship, could be a way of getting a partner to stay."