Irish Wedding News
21/05/2014
According to the study by law firm Slater & Gordon, a number of couples who decide to divorce are more than happy to play dirty in order to get one over their estranged spouse.
Looking at more than 1,000 divorces, it was found that many couples argued over items they didn't care about, while others lied, made false promises or deliberately made the process harder in order to get back at their ex.
One in 10 went as far as to admit they had tried to turn people against their ex in an attempt to make them "suffer", but almost six in 10 said they had let their heart rule their head during their divorce, and this had led to poor decision-making and regrets.
Elsewhere, 40% of divorcees said they struggled to be in the same room as their ex, while seven in 10 were unable to separate the emotions they felt from the practicalities of resolving financial issues and the residency of their children. Almost half deliberately fought for more than they knew they could expect – as a similar amount claimed they were scared their former spouse would also want more than they were entitled to. As a result, they decided to "fight dirty", and a third of couples confessed they had demanded more than they thought was fair, simply to "get one up" on their partner.
When it comes to playing dirty, one in seven deliberately tried to embarrass their ex in the Courts, while the same number "played the victim". 31% admitted that while they were aggressive during their divorce proceedings, they didn't like it, but felt it was necessary in order to secure a "decent" settlement. A further one in eight said they purposely hired an "aggressive" divorce lawyer to help them get the most out of the separation and some 36% of divorcees said they wanted their other half to suffer, because they were suffering.
Emotion does appear to play a key role during proceedings however, as most respondents admitted that without the emotion involved, their divorce would have been completely different. For example, one in 10 said their actions had caused unnecessary difficulties for their children, while two-thirds said the separation had impacted on their child's wellbeing.
Family Solicitor and Mediator at Slater & Gordon, Liz Cowell, said: "These findings don't surprise me one bit. We have all dealt with divorce cases where one party has let their anger influence their decisions during a separation.
"Often we find that clients attending meetings won't even consider being in the same room as their ex but after a few months people calm down and see that an amicable separation and mediation can actually be a good way of resolving divorce issues without spending a lot of money and going to Court.
"The new Family Law legislation means that everyone now has to consider Mediation at the very start of issuing divorce proceedings and hopefully with more and more family lawyers doubling up as mediators it will mean that messy divorces are a very rare occurrence. This can only be a good thing for all involved."
Liz Cowell is a Family Law & Divorce Solicitor specialising in complex family financial issues in divorce cases at Slater & Gordon Lawyers in Manchester.
(JP)
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More Than A Third Of Divorces 'Are Dirty'
More than a third of divorces are "bitter" and "acrimonious", new research has discovered.According to the study by law firm Slater & Gordon, a number of couples who decide to divorce are more than happy to play dirty in order to get one over their estranged spouse.
Looking at more than 1,000 divorces, it was found that many couples argued over items they didn't care about, while others lied, made false promises or deliberately made the process harder in order to get back at their ex.
One in 10 went as far as to admit they had tried to turn people against their ex in an attempt to make them "suffer", but almost six in 10 said they had let their heart rule their head during their divorce, and this had led to poor decision-making and regrets.
Elsewhere, 40% of divorcees said they struggled to be in the same room as their ex, while seven in 10 were unable to separate the emotions they felt from the practicalities of resolving financial issues and the residency of their children. Almost half deliberately fought for more than they knew they could expect – as a similar amount claimed they were scared their former spouse would also want more than they were entitled to. As a result, they decided to "fight dirty", and a third of couples confessed they had demanded more than they thought was fair, simply to "get one up" on their partner.
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When it comes to playing dirty, one in seven deliberately tried to embarrass their ex in the Courts, while the same number "played the victim". 31% admitted that while they were aggressive during their divorce proceedings, they didn't like it, but felt it was necessary in order to secure a "decent" settlement. A further one in eight said they purposely hired an "aggressive" divorce lawyer to help them get the most out of the separation and some 36% of divorcees said they wanted their other half to suffer, because they were suffering.
Emotion does appear to play a key role during proceedings however, as most respondents admitted that without the emotion involved, their divorce would have been completely different. For example, one in 10 said their actions had caused unnecessary difficulties for their children, while two-thirds said the separation had impacted on their child's wellbeing.
Family Solicitor and Mediator at Slater & Gordon, Liz Cowell, said: "These findings don't surprise me one bit. We have all dealt with divorce cases where one party has let their anger influence their decisions during a separation.
"Often we find that clients attending meetings won't even consider being in the same room as their ex but after a few months people calm down and see that an amicable separation and mediation can actually be a good way of resolving divorce issues without spending a lot of money and going to Court.
"The new Family Law legislation means that everyone now has to consider Mediation at the very start of issuing divorce proceedings and hopefully with more and more family lawyers doubling up as mediators it will mean that messy divorces are a very rare occurrence. This can only be a good thing for all involved."
Liz Cowell is a Family Law & Divorce Solicitor specialising in complex family financial issues in divorce cases at Slater & Gordon Lawyers in Manchester.
(JP)
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